Sweetie, we don’t do average…
I didn’t grow up rich by any means, HOWEVER, I do have certain idiosyncrasies about me that others seem to find rather “Bourgeois”. For the life of me I don’t get why !
I’ve been rather fortunate if anything, to have been exposed to a diversified way of living, for which I am greatful. I don’t think of myself as a snob, I try not to look down on others, I may sniker if I see somone in cheap chinee slippers yet rockin a LVuitton Speedy - but thats different.
Men and women have certain expectations regarding the person they get involved with be it on a friendship level or something more serious. That’s a FACT, lets be real. However, when we meet these kindred spirits, is it a deal breaker if they don’t fit into your “perfect” mold? What things should we overlook? What things are absolutely inexusable to you? Hmm.
If I sense that there’s the potentional of me being interested in someone beyond friendship, then there are certain charateristics I usally try and suss out. I’m just wondering what I’d do if those standards aren’t met? If I choose to overloolk some things is that “settling” or should I view it as accepting the lack of small things in exchange for something deeper (presumably).
I just tend to think grown men who’re seriously dating and who have a certain socialization factor should:
- Be well read: I’m not a fan of someone telling me his last book read was a BLENDER magazine.
- Have a bookself with no less than 20 books: When I say books, I don’t only mean books by John Grisham but his selection should be vast.
- Have more than one watch: I’m NOT looking for ten (although some how my dad ended up with ten watches but I think that just came from too many gf’s) but I do think he should have a minimum of three. Two dressy and one casual.
- Own a proper suit including a tie (if not a tailored suit): There is something to be said when a man owns at least ONE good suit. Doesn’t have to be your everyday way of dress, but you should always own one.
- Have at least one proper Blazer, Slacks and a pair of Hardbottoms: You can’t wear a fitted cap, jeans and Timbs everywhere, despite what the homies say. They certainly don’t let you into Jean George with any hood wear; if you don’t own either, that’s a problem.
- Know when and how to switch up the vencaular with finesse: Do I really need to explain this one?
- Have specific goals and have mapped out how their going to attain them and preferably with a time frame ( short term vs long term, 6mths, 1yr or 5yrs)
The actual list is a shit load longer than this. However, I wrote these down because I just had an interesting conversation with a gentleman who was very adamant on his stance with things like taking off his hat in a proper resturant (which he hates to do). It just got to thinking, seriously.
Am I indeed bourgeois? Or should men learn to evolve their sense of socialization just a bit more than their norm? When it comes to reaching out of a comfort zone, how far should we stretch it? And if we’re not willing to, what does that say about us as ever changing individuals?
gotta go do my nails but i’ll continue this post if not prt II when I get back.
T.
Posted: May 23rd, 2008 under Just Vixen, V's Relationship/Dating Stuff.
Comments: 5
Comments
Comment from buda
Time: May 23, 2008, 6:20 pm
Thats the differnce between men and women we dont have many prerequisites (so what if its spelled wrong) for women……. we love yall as you are kids strecth marks and all we dont have any pass or fail test!! atleast all real NI**A’S
Comment from FallenStarNBabylon
Time: May 24, 2008, 6:06 am
Hogwash, Buda! Ofcourse men have prerequisites when it comes to women. Lots of men only date light skined women and have clear restrictions on not dating dark skin women. Some men will not seriously date a woman who is not a college graduate. Lots of run from women who have children like they have SARS be it right or wrong. Don’t even let us start on if the woman is more than thick in the waist, oy vey! Men have a list, long or short, you guys have your prerequisites as well. SO ha!
What I listed in the posted are small points in the bigger spectrum, women don’t always have room to lookover things and accept shit, they’re alot of US but NOT alot of YOU. Men tend to replace women fasther than we replace them in relationshipts. We have to think and over think and over analyze every move we make because in the end we’re usally the ones left holding the bag of shit. Not always but more times than not. Thinking about these things and how they can influence and shape my/our future is only fair. They’re no guarantees with anything in this life but to not question and assess would be foolish.
I dunno, it’s definitely a give and take, compromise type thing; maybe i’ll let up on some things and see what happens and what comes my way.
Comment from R
Time: May 24, 2008, 6:09 pm
I must comment on this…because i too don’t ask for much, but yet these simple things seems to be as though asking for a liver transplant from most men and now matter what Mr. Budda says…you men DO HAVE LISTS!
I try to make my list smaller and somewhat lower my standards, but at what costs? i’m a mother and I don’t to bring any kind of rif raf around my child and then try to explain to her that when she starts to date that she must not do as what she’s seen me do. I want the best for me in a man and eventually when my daughter starts to date, i want the best for her. These are simple things, but nonetheless very important ones and not much to ask for. Take your hat off when you enter a building…ANY building, when visiting a young woman, ask her before arriving at her home if she needs anything. Yes, all men should own at least one properly fitted suit. I love John Grisham, but i also own other books as well and so should he.
Just little things…and once again i must say MEN DO HAVE LISTS!!! my best friend is a guy, i know!
Comment from 2partssoul
Time: May 26, 2008, 6:18 am
Ok…I was feeling you until the watch thing. and then I was feeling you after that. I don’t think its asking to much at all (minus the watch thing). I mean I have list. It just so happens that the qualities that are on my list are totally opposite of the person Im attracted to. Its one of those cake and pie situations. We want the pie filling with the cake outside. and in some cases that can be a little “Bourgeois”. but that’s just my opinion.
and could you please explain the watch thing to me? I don’t get it?
Comment from Nimima
Time: May 27, 2008, 6:59 pm
Well alrighty then! The Fellas have lists alright, who is that guy trying to kid. Men are picky creatures and need to really step their game up at times. I agree with all and to the young guy who didn’t understand the watch thing here’s something to think about: ADULT men should have more than one watch two at minimum because a sports watch can not be worn with a suit! HELLO! That would be like me showing up to a board meeting. shaking hands and all of a sudden my collegues see my hello kitty plastic watch.
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