Straight thoughts from a CleverVixen

I get oh so very annoyed when black folk become indignantly over sefl righteous and become spokes persons for the entire race when it comes to blackwomen and their HAIR choices. On any given day I have my own self flagellation to deal with, what makes folk think that MY hair CHOICES is an opening for a discussion on socio-politiacal views and self-haterd ideologies within the black race!!!?

What???  Come on na man… Shut your bloody pie h*le ! 

It’s a simple and brief discussion on HAIR! It’s not like I even brought it up but because you have tough nyampy bush woman hair that you need Dax and water for - you feel that because I want a weave I’m “giving into the white establishment’s ideas of what black beauty should be” ? Listen here you f*cker, If I want six ounces of 20 inch Spanish Wavy then I’m going to get it and rock it WELL!  

I just want to scream!!!

*****

Snippet of the Conversation :

She: so what do you have planned for the weekend?

ME: Girl, please, I need to take out these braids and figure out if I really want this weave like I’ve been saying or just get a perm.

SHE: A weave? Oh, I didn’t know you even rocked those, I thought you were into naturals styles and stuff. I mean the last time I saw you - you did have a perm but ..I dunno. I’d NEVER get a weave (saying this with such disdain!!). I don’t know why we black women always have to fall into that trap of thinking straight hair is the end all and be all… etc etc. blah blah fucking blah [ I mean homegirl went on a long Al Sharpton rant for a good five minutes!]

ME: [ in my head  - WTF?, HUH?, are you kidding me? Did this wench not just ask me about ME? didn't nobody ask her all this ...!!!!!]  Well, you know I’m just looking for something different… And I don’t recall ever saying I was strictly natural, I mean, nah I’ve never had a weave but I’ve never done Anal either, but I still like to try new things!damnnn (fake lol.) [trying to lighten the mood before I go OFF on this girl] Anyway, girl let me call you back later because I need to finish up some things….

CLICK!

*****

Look. I’ve had a fade, I’ve had dreads, I’ve done just about EVERY NATURAL style known to mankind, but mostly I like my hair permed and in a short, sassy and easy cut. I’m lazy and long hair just seems like nuff nuff work. However, yes, I am in the mood (of recent) to get a weave! Can I do me or do I need to ask permission from the black race? ( me sucking my teeth like a true disgusted West Indian!)

I’m soo freaking tired of this mess. Just because you rock a natural does not make you any more pro-black and self aware than the sistah with some wet and wavy weave.  Stop the foolishness.  We all balck and have that same struggle when we’re in the white man’s “establishment” - so jump off my blinkin bra strap! Hopefully, we’ll do one better and unify at the polls come November 2 and DO THE RIGHT THING and Vote OBAMA. How you like them apples.

I know nothing about nothing when it comes to weaves, absolutely nothing, so I’ve been ringing up the cuzzo’s and the lot- inquiring about the elements. What I do know is that this is about to be an HEXpensive little process! Almost ($600) US dollars, lol - kiss mi granny! Rhatid backside! OH Skunt!

We’ll see what- IF anything - I do. I’d like to think that as a grown woman who isn’t asking anyone (let alone Ms. Faux-Angela Davis) for anything, I’d be able to just chat freely and easily.  HA, I learned my lesson!

Got my pressure all high high! The only time I want to feel such a rush is after the third back to back orgasm! Other than that, leave me be!

Shite man.

T.