Argh…Shield and Armor…duh!
Had a brief yet interesting conversation with BT1a.k.a Distant Lover ( lol…I know he’s gon kill me for this) yesterday afternoon. According to him, I’m “insensitive to other people’s feelings (meaning HIS) and I’m selfish” and that had me thinking.
It’s not like I haven’t heard this before from a few men, but why exactly should I be willing to change my “insensitive and selfish” ways, for individuals who have yet to prove, dare I say, worthy. Who does that?
Before I get that shit load of irritable comments, when I say “worthy” I mean, I need to have a certain level of trust in a person before I can completely let that shield down and be 100% at ease.
Self preservation is what and all I know and to divert from that is not something I take lightly - at all. It just takes time, can I have a minute? Can a girl feel you out a little more? Let’s face it, any sign of weakness and people look to exploit that; so yes, I’m a “hard ass” cause I HAVE to be.
The night before, I was talking to YB2 a.k.a. BankBoy, and he’s sitting there talking about some one night-er and explaining why she wasn’t “wifey” material, and can I just tell you I was totally confused. I mean I’ve heard the logic (if that’s what you want to call it) about if a female gives it up on the first night, then she’s loose and more than likely she’s not GF material, yada, yada, yada. BUT, I still piss on that theory because guys are so quick to say they want a freak, yet they find one, she allows you to go IN on the first night and now she’snot worthy? I know, all females who’re quick to throw down aren’t all GF material but that theory never makes sense to me for some reason. As it takes me a WHILE for that whole going IN process, I never really trip over this personally, just always wondered.
Everyone has something, I guess.
Posted: April 30th, 2008 under Just Vixen, V's Relationship/Dating Stuff.
Comments: 5
Comments
Comment from buda
Time: April 30, 2008, 6:40 pm
We want a chase atleast a lil bit of one… 2 much 2 fast = NEXT! We as men naturally have a lil ADD so the longer we can stay interested the more we are into it or should I say her……… its a fact
Comment from R
Time: May 1, 2008, 6:18 am
buda, that is not always true,a real man will over look the fact that he got it within the first look if he is really and truly interested in a woman. Only a boy will revert to “she’s loose, she’s fast” kinda of mentality. While I do agree that most men like the chase, sometimes it just is what it is. I was intimate with one of my exes after 2 weeks of dating him and we were together for 2 long years. so what does that say about your theory?
Comment from buda
Time: May 1, 2008, 6:37 am
2 weeks is ample enough time, if it would have 2-3 days you would have just been his jump off!
Comment from FallenStarNBabylon
Time: May 1, 2008, 6:14 pm
2 weeks, huh B… Interesting. Of course it depends on the individuals,but its good to get a guys assesment (I think).
R. - we not taking bout 2 weeks, miss. missy, I said after that first night. I need some opinions on the first night, jamdown session, controversy. Gimme something on that.
Comment from R
Time: May 2, 2008, 6:12 am
My bad…though technically 2 weeks could have still made me his jumpoff. Hell I was a jumpoff (and proud of it) after knowing this one dude for over month. So really, i think that it’s all relative, to the two inviduals concerned in the situation. If the man is mature enough, he can see past one night thing and still want to get to know the woman.
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